Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen

Michael Bay’s first foray into adapting the adventures of the ‘Robots In Disguise’ for the big screen was, well, exactly what you would expect from a Michael Bay film. There was flimsy plot, some good-looking men and women and giant CGI robots smashing the crap out of each other in an – admittedly – exciting way. Yes, it was dumb. But it zipped along at a fast pace, didn’t take itself too seriously and provided some fun, if mindless, entertainment. After the original’s popularity, the sequel arrives to establish a new franchise. Worryingly TRANSFORMERS 2: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN would indicate that is not going to be a good thing at all: what was once mindless fun is now simply mindless. What’s more, there’s a distinct and unsubtle pro-military and pro-George Bush theme that, as the film progresses, begins to leave a nasty taste in the mouth.

The film begins with the notion that, even though the battle scenes at the end of TRANSFORMERS attempted to make the Gulf War appear like a bar scuffle between two drunken teenagers, the existence of the Transformers is still hidden from the public at large. Working alongside the US military (and one solider with a dodgy British accent lest we – god forbid – get the impression that it’s the job of America to save the world) the Autobots (aka ‘the good robots’) keep Earth safe from harm. But, soon the Decepticons return to resurrect their evil master Megatron and fulfil the plan of the ominously named ‘Fallen’. Soon, the human protagonists from the original film, Sam and Mikalea, find that they are once again honour bound to try and save the Earth.

From the very beginning there’s so much about the film that’s wrong. Whilst not exactly being given the most in-depth characters in cinema history, Shia LaBoeuf and Megan Fox at least brought a modicum of charm and wit to their respective roles as Sam and Mikalea. Here they’re just going through the motions, spouting alternately naff and portentous lines when they’re not dodging flying masonry. Indeed, whilst the Transformers have been brought too life, LaBeouf and Fox have drifted more and more into becoming mere plastic toys. And, even whilst the Transformers are an impressive feat of CGI, I defy anyone except the most staunch of Transformers to know who the hell is who. Yep, that big red and blue is Optimus Prime. The baddie is Megatron. Oh and that one he’s erm, Starscream? Jetfuel? 1964 Nissan Sunny? Buggered if I know. Buggered if I care.

There is a brief 20 minutes (in a film that is way, way too long at 150 minutes) when the film starts to pick up – John Tutturro appears, also reprising his role from the first film, and seems to bring the wit and charm we’ve been sorely missing. But after some ridiculously clunky exposition, the film head towards a long and interminable climax. Not only does the final hour of the movie render almost everything that has gone before almost superfluous (Sam’s start at college, his encounter with a robot disguised as a human and other bits action are simply never referred to again leaving almost everything redundant) but all the end of the film does is provide empty and repetitive spectacle. There are bits of machinery hammering each other whilst humans scream and shoot. This is effects artists showing off and nothing more.

It’s the underlying message of the film that’s the most disturbing. The end of the film shows us the American military playing a major role in helping the Autobots fend off the evil Decepticons whilst protecting a small Jordanian village. What’s more we’ve (unusually for a genre that usually denies itself historical and factual specificity) been told that President Obama has been moved to an underground bunker. In other words, he’s hiding whilst the brave American boys do the job that they’re supposed to. Alongside the slow-motion action shots that beautify gunfire, shelling and war the message is clear: the American’s are right to kick-ass when they want. Because if they don’t, we’ll all be hiding whilst those evil terrors manage to stalk the Earth.

Of course, it would be argued that if the film had a more liberal message then I would be prepared to let it go. This may be true: but I would say it’s not so much the message being expressed (look below the surface of many Hollywood blockbusters and you’ll find a right wing statement bursting to be released). It’s the fact that the way in which the message is expressed displays a naked contempt for the audience that I haven’t seen in quite a while.

The film tells us to ignore our instincts, ignore the inconsistencies and follow along like good boys and girls. Much like many other mainstream Hollywood fare. But whilst we can usually accept this and benignly obey these instructions, TRANSFORMERS 2: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is a step too far. A crass, commercial and soulless product that’s without a scrap of wit and charm. Make a stand and say no.

TRANSFORMERS 2: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN is out now in cinemas.

Review: Laurence Boyce